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Posted by on Apr 11, 2022 in ACE Learning Center, Continuing Education | 0 comments

ACE Poetry Contest Cat Bombed Because That’s a Tradition

By Guest Blogger Wallace, assisted by Paul Krivonos, ACE Board Member.

My name is Wallace. I’m a cat. I live in Christchurch, which is in New Zealand, and I was asked to cat bomb the ACE Poetry Contest blog because cat bombing is a tradition for this contest.

I’m Wallace. I jump up on things.

I’m a very cheeky cat. I like to climb into other people’s houses through open windows and wander around in their house to see what I can find. One day I found a whole roast chicken, which I ate. It was delicious. I might write a poem about that one day. Doggerel is the name for really bad poetry. Catterel is the name for really good poetry.

I also like to climb up the wall and get on top of my owner’s garage, then jump through the window into my house. They are not really my owners, they just think they are. No one owns a cat. Aaron and Julia, the humans who feed me (and the little kitten that they have also decided to keep in their home), cater to all my whims, so they must work for me. Here is my poem for your poetry contest. If I don’t win, the contest is rigged.

IT’S TIME

It’s time to jump up on the car
It’s time to jump up on the garage
It’s time to jump up on and through my neighbor’s window
It’s time to jump up on and through my window
It’s time to jump up on the kitchen bench*
It’s time to eat the kitten’s food
All this jumping is very tiring
It’s time for a nap

*That’s a kitchen counter in New Zealand talk

One day I’d like to write another poem, a lovely catterel poem about the delicious roast chicken I ate at my neighbor’s house. But as Francesco Marciuliano wrote in his fabulous tome, I Could Pee on This, And Other Poems by Cats:

They say there are
Twenty-four hours in a day

But I’m only up for three of them
And two I consider overtime

So that’s my cat bombing of the ACE Poetry Contest blog. The contest mascots Dexter, Luna, Max and Bessie are great, but sometimes you need a cat’s perspective on poetry. All you students who are learning about and writing poetry – I hope you have lots of fun exploring and jumping up and through all those cool poetry windows.

Have a great poetry week. Okay, time for my nap.

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